Sex, Shame & Disconnection with Dr. Tiffany Stanley

Bruce Anthony: [00:00:00] What if the real barrier to intimacy isn’t your partner, but what you were taught to believe about yourself? We gonna get into it. Let’s get it.

Bruce Anthony: [00:00:20] All this is unsolicited perspectives. I am your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics The. Is shaping today’s society. Join the conversation to follow us wherever you get your audio podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content and our YouTube membership rate review.

Bruce Anthony: [00:00:40] Like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family. Hell even share with your enemies. On today’s episode, I’ll be interviewing Dr. Tiffany Stanley, and we’re gonna be talking about intimacy, but that’s enough of the intro. Let’s get to the show.

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Bruce Anthony: [00:01:07] You know, there are certain conversations people want to have, but they don’t always know where to start them. Conversations about intimacy. About desire, about connection, about the things that we were taught to keep quiet even in our own relationships. But today we’re gonna go there. My guest today is Dr.

Bruce Anthony: [00:01:26] Tiffany Stanley, a psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and relationship expert with more than two decades of experience helping individuals and couples navigate emotional wellbeing, identity,.And intimacy. Her work focuses on helping people move outta shame. Confusion and disconnection and into deeper understanding of themselves and how they show up in relationships.

Bruce Anthony: [00:01:51] We’re gonna talk about why so many people struggle to feel connected to their partners and sometimes. Even to themselves. We’re gonna get into the realities of long-term relationships, how life changes can reshape intimacy, and why honest communication is often harder than we think. We’ll also touch on the cultural messages many of us grew up with, especially

Bruce Anthony: [00:02:13] around sexuality and how these beliefs continue to shape the way we love, trust, and relate to one another.

Bruce Anthony: [00:02:22] Is one of those conversations that can make you reflect on your own experiences, past relationships, current dynamics, and even relationship with yourself. So sit back, lean in, and get ready to learn. Without further ado, Dr. Tiffany Stanley, I. As I said at the top, I’m here with Dr. Tiffany Stanley. We’re talking about intimacy relationships, all the stuff that’s not supposed to be taboo. But it is a little bit, but I’m really excited to have Dr. Stanley on because I know from my personal life, maybe not directly my personal life, but the people in my orbit, that intimacy and relationships is a big.

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:03] Deal. And I feel like when people listen and watch this, they’re gonna learn so much. So Dr. Stanley, thank you so much for coming on the show. I’m looking forward to this conversation. I’m looking forward to learning. I’m looking forward to growing as a PERS person. I’m looking forward for my audience to do the same.

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:18] So thank you so much for coming on the show.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:03:20] You’re so welcome. I’m glad to be here.

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:23] I always start every interview

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:26] with, let’s go back.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:03:28] Okay.

Bruce Anthony: [00:03:28] So I want to, the first question I want to ask is, where did you grow up? What was your household like, and what kind of experience shaped you to become the person that you are today?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:03:38] Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, uh, I grew up in a military family. My dad was a high ranking officer, military.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:03:48] Um, so you can imagine with the home life as far as that looked like, very traditional. Um, because he was in the military. We moved around a little bit in the beginning, so I’m from New Orleans, but then moved to Puerto Rico and was, yeah.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:04:03] So I was there for. Seven plus years, mainly my formative years, you know, elementary, middle school, most of high school. Um, so I had that experience of being the kind of min minority and being the gringo, right? So the blonde and didn’t look like everybody. And, and I think that that experience of living in Puerto Rico and then moving to Texas, which is where I’ve been since, uh, really gave me a view of. Just being like trying to adapt and the need for like, connections and, and of course when you’re moving, it’s gonna go deep that quickly too. So, and in addition to that, with my father being military and that traditional sort of home life, um, mom, a stay home mom, dad. Ran the show and the, the finances and all of those pieces.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:04:55] So that’s kind of my early years and I think those formative years really made me look about relationships and, uh, roles and what I perceived as. Inequality, you know, and things like that. So, um, and then since then I’ve been in Texas and been married and divorced and have two adult sons. And so, yeah, it’s been a life journey, been all over the place, but I think people often surprised when they meet me and they’re like, you grew up where, know, but yep, that’s, that’s part of

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:05:30] the journey.

Bruce Anthony: [00:05:30] Being a military kid, this is one of those detours I told you at the, at the top that I, I might take, um, being a military kid, I was not a military kid, but I can identify with military kids because we moved around so much. I went to, I think it was four different elementary schools, two different middle schools, and three different high schools, right?

Bruce Anthony: [00:05:49] Like we moved around so much and talking about intimacy and connection. One of the things, and I don’t know if you have siblings. That was gonna be my next question. Uh, one of me and my brother and sister are so close because we move so much, but also I don’t have a problem with. Ending things another because I, I learned that, you know, this person could be your friend today, but I would, might have to move next week and I will never see this person again.

Bruce Anthony: [00:06:19] Because this was in the eighties and nineties and technology wasn’t a thing. Do you feel like, um, growing up as a military kid moving around, going from New Orleans to Puerto Rico to Texas, that. That may have led to some connection issues because you had to move around so much and that nobody is really there for long.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:06:43] Yeah. Yeah. Well speaking about siblings, I do have two sisters and we’re very, very

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:06:49] close and a lot of times people, you know, will go, gosh, that’s so unusual ‘cause y’all are like best friends. And, um, and we are, and, and I think part of that is because we had to rely on each

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:07:01] other, you know, we were our constants, um, and. And, and like what you were saying about, uh, intimacy and connecting is that you did, you didn’t know when you were moving again and if you were gonna get stationed someplace else, and you gotta pick up all your stuff and you’ll never see those people again, or the likelihood of it. Um, so it made me very adaptable, meaning that. Uh, I’m comfortable meeting people and, and getting to know people. Um, but I do think it does impact like intimacy or, um, there is that little piece of like, well, you know, you may not meet them again or you may not, you can be friends now. And, and, you know, if we grow in different directions, we may not be friends anymore. Um. So I think that’s a different experience than a lot of people that kind of stay in one place. And you know, I kind of envy the friends I have that have had friends since they were kids. And I’m like, I have no, other than my sisters, you know, that’s not, that’s not my story.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:08:04] Um, I don’t remember the friends from New Orleans or, you know, um, ‘cause. I was always moving. So, and same thing with Puerto Rico, you know, when we moved from Puerto Rico to to Texas, that was a drastic cultural change first. Um, but then, you know, I had to make new friends and again, I was. from Puerto Rico with all that cultural experience and also the blonde girl, but also very tan and not going into a school that was primarily black and, um, you know, standing out again.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:08:38] And, uh, so I, I do agree that it does impact your ability to feel connection and then that sort of security of that connection.

Bruce Anthony: [00:08:48] So.

Bruce Anthony: [00:08:50] Just like you and your sisters. Me, my brother and sister are very, very close. Like I do, uh, an episode a week with my sister. The audience knows how close I am with my sister. I am just as close with my brother. We have a strong bond, and I remember, uh, when I was married that my ex-wife was able to join the group.

Bruce Anthony: [00:09:13] Right. Even though now my brother sister trying to claim that she wasn’t, she was, you know, she, she was.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:09:20] Out things later.

Bruce Anthony: [00:09:22] Yeah. Um, do you th do you think that closeness with your sisters, um. Affected relationships with other people, not even just romantic. Friendships. Friendships and romantic and everything in between.

Bruce Anthony: [00:09:38] Because you have this bond that you could say, well, no matter what, I know my people are over here. Y’all are never going to get to this level. And, and if that’s the case, did you see. Intimidation from friends or partners, romantic partners with the closeness with your sister?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:10:02] Um, well, we definitely are that type. Tight tribe, if you

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:10:06] will. And we joke, but it’s also serious is that if you don’t fit in, you’re just not gonna fit in

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:10:13] it. It’s if you don’t click with the group, like, you know, if you don’t get our jokes, if you don’t love to dance, if you don’t like all these things, you’re just not gonna fit very well. So, um, and I think that the partners that have come into my life and, um, they’ve, they’ve either fit or they haven’t, and, uh. And so, um, got another question though that was, how does that impact friendships and like intimidation? Can you tell me more about what you’re asking there so I can make sure?

Bruce Anthony: [00:10:44] I, I know that when, for instance, me and my brother and sister had a party

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:10:53] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:10:53] and one of my siblings, grouping of friends, I don’t want to single out anybody. One of my siblings, grouping of friends saw how close we were and they were like, oh. I thought we were like siblings, but I see now

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:11:11] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:11:12] there’s a different level.

Bruce Anthony: [00:11:14] So that’s what I’m what I’m saying because some people that are dear friends of mine see me with my siblings and say, oh, I, I thought I was your best friend. I mean, you are my best friend, but that’s, those are my best friends too, and I’ve known ‘em all my life. It’s a little different. So that’s what I’m talking about.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:11:32] I think people recognize, have recognized that, that the, the sister bond is very, very strong and that they’re, um, so important to me. And, but I think either the friends are either wanting to join, they wanna like hang out with all of us. Um, or you know, they just recognize that those are your sisters

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:11:51] and you, you guys are thickest thieves and so, you know. It’s just kinda like they’re my deepest best friends, but these are, you are my best friend too, or my

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:12:02] close friends. And there’s a place for everybody.

Bruce Anthony: [00:12:06] Yes. There’s a place for everybody. So you’re traveling

Bruce Anthony: [00:12:10] as a military kid from New Orleans to Puerto Rico, to Texas. You’re growing up in Texas. You got this great sister bond and somehow that translate into you building a career around intimacy relationships and sexual topics.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:12:31] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:12:32] And this is why you’re here on the show, is to talk about these topics that are been labeled as taboo, but you’re saying they shouldn’t and we shouldn’t feel that way.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:12:44] Right,

Bruce Anthony: [00:12:45] How did your life pull you into this type of work?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:12:49] Uh, well, no, I always wanted to go into psychology and, and, and I started out work wanting to work primarily with women. Um, but. I like to think it’s that I’m comfortable talking about the topic because it would come up so often in therapy sessions with clients and you know, they might come in talking about, I’m really struggling with anxiety or relationship issues, or whatever they’re presenting, and I never believe we would end up talking about their sex life because they. you’re anxious, that’s gonna show up in your sex life. If your sex life is complicated, that creates anxiety. So it becomes this little, you know, like a cycle. And um, and I think part of it is also how much of it has been we’ve been conditioned to believe is taboo or not supposed to be talked about. And, um. I think there’s something really empowering about getting to know yourself at a really deep level, which includes how you show up at intimacy with

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:13:46] yourself and with other people. Um, even questioning like, why, why aren’t we supposed to talk about sex? Why are we supposed to know how to do it and, and enjoy it when it’s okay and acceptable, but then not talk about it and it being shameful and not okay. When it’s not okay. Right. So that contradiction always really bothered me. And, um, the idea of empowering people to ask questions of themselves and own what works for them and check in with themself when they’re following what they perceive is like the script of how it’s supposed to look. And it’s. It’s not authentic. So, um, I think it’s just been an evolution of something I’ve already really fascinated by. And I think sex is such a human thing that, uh, it just became more and more interesting to me. And then I pursued it at a deeper level of, you know, getting a, a doctorate in clinical sexology, you know, so, uh, just took it seriously and I wanted to be educated, not just on the human part of it, but like. Or the relational piece, but like the anatomy and what’s happening within our bodies and our hormones, and so yeah, it’s, I think it’s just an extremely fascinating topic.

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Bruce Anthony: [00:15:10] The older I’ve gotten, the more fascinated I’ve. Been about, well, I’ve always been fascinated about sex, but the, the intimacy part of it, um, is, has always been interesting to me. But most of us don’t grow up, uh, having open and healthy conversations about sex, desire, or boundaries. What messages do people usually carry from childhood or even young adulthood that end up causing problems in their relationships later?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:15:45] Well, it doesn’t often get talked about. And you know, so many clients, I’ll ask them, you know, well, who did you first learn about sex from? Who you know? And often it’s at school and the, the presentation was scare the crap out of the kid, you know? And instead of it being. Understanding how the body works, understanding the emotional piece of it, understanding boundaries, you know, um, so a lot of parents don’t talk to about sex with their kids, so kids are learning it from school and friends, which, um, are usually not the best experts on. On sex. Um, that also creates the idea of like, performance because you’re hearing, here’s this guy or friend talking about their sexual experience and how some, somehow it went like perfectly. And then, you know, that, that pre presents this idea of, oh, we should know how to do

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:16:41] this and we should know how to do it really well and also be emotionally connected and intimate and so. I think a lot of the, the issue is that it doesn’t get talked about and when things aren’t talked about the go-to is that they’re not supposed to be talked about. There’s

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:16:56] something bad about them. There’s something we need to keep that a secret. Um, and yet most people are having sex. So, you know what, what is something that’s so human need to be a secret or

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:17:09] they get shamed about it and, you know, um, so.

Bruce Anthony: [00:17:12] You said something earlier about anxiety affecting intimacy, and I don’t know why that never crossed my mind before. As somebody who suffers from generalized anxiety to think that anxiety would interrupt intimacy. Um, that’s one thing that can interrupt intimacy, but. With your clients. You don’t need to be specific.

Bruce Anthony: [00:17:42] The older millennials, um, and we’re the millennials generation that might be coming to you, do you see issues with sexuality, intimacy, and desire as the rise of technology has opened up the door to, uh, I don’t know if I can say this on air. Sexually suggestive media. Yeah, that was a good way to put it.

Bruce Anthony: [00:18:10] Sexually suggestive media and that now kids have access to it that older generations didn’t. At such a young age that’s warping, that could be potentially warping their mind about what sex actually is and how it’s supposed to feel and be presented. Do you think that there is a correlation between that.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:18:34] Yeah, I do. I think that the social media and, and technology has, I mean, there’s definitely benefits to it as far as like the access to information,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:18:43] assuming the information is accurate.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:18:45] Um, but it does, you know, if somebody’s watching something that’s sexually related. though somebody logically may know that that’s not real, that this is a crafted, scripted, edited sort of thing, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t create an influence of what is perceived the way it’s supposed to look. And often in those types of, uh. It’s not emphasizing intimacy, it’s not emphasizing, um, humanness of it doesn’t always go great. It sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes it’s, you’re all in and then it changes. And so that, that piece gives them very, um, inaccurate information and also creates that performance anxiety. Which is, I need to know what I’m doing. I need to be really good at it. Everything has to function perfectly and on cue, and that’s just not how it works. Um, so puts a lot of pressure on people. Um, I also think that the, with social media and things like that, yes you have access to talking to people and whatever, but it’s also created a lot of loneliness.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:19:48] People are not connecting in that sort of real time, spinning, actual time with each other. They’re texting and, um. Sending back photos and things like that, which should probably like, you know, edited as well, so.

Bruce Anthony: [00:20:05] Um, that’s an interesting, that’s really interesting that our form of communication now. Is texting. I, I know personally don’t call me. You can FaceTime me maybe, but I prefer a text and how there’s a lost connection in that people have whole conversations through text messages and then when they’re in person aren’t able to.

Bruce Anthony: [00:20:28] Make that type of connection. I hear so many of my friends who are on dating sites that say they have these great conversations online through the dating site and then once they’re in per person is crickets. So that’s an interesting concept that I don’t think people need necessarily thought about it.

Bruce Anthony: [00:20:46] What could be a solution to a couple who might feel a little disconnected right now? If they examine their communication styles,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:21:00] So I think that what a lot of people are missing is just the curiosity.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:21:05] You know, I think so many people are just making assumptions left and right, and they’re operating from those assumptions. And maybe the assumptions accurate, but not necessarily, right. So, um, you talk about the people that are comfortable with the texting.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:21:19] They’re on a social, a dating app, and they’re able to text in that. In that sort of communication setup, there’s a lot less anxiety because you can edit, you can, um, you can take a little bit of time to think of how you wanna say it. You can also have sort of the, well, if it didn’t make sense, I can go back and change it because we can use the idea that text or email can be misunderstood, misconstrued, or whatever. But when you’re sitting face to face with someone, it’s right there. They’re right there in front of you and you are. Kind of thinking on the spot. You can’t take that pause or that edit, and I think that creates a lot of anxiety for people. So a couple that’s feeling disconnected, I think it’s just being, asking questions, being curious and not, um, making quick assumptions about what you think your partner’s feeling or needs or wants. Um. And you think about in the sexual realm, a lot of people make assumptions based on what they think is happening in the sexual experience, and they’re not talking about it. Oh gosh, they sounded like they were really enjoying that. So that must be it. It’s like, maybe not,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:22:30] maybe you need to stop and ask, you know, like, maybe not in a sexual experience, but like at another time.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:22:34] Like, how was that for you?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:22:36] Do you like when I do this instead of, oh, you know, I’m, I’m doing it perfect. And maybe you’re not for that person.

Bruce Anthony: [00:22:45] So I do wanna get back to couples being disconnected, but I wanna focus in on the person right now. You hear a lot of people saying all the time, something must be wrong with me because my desire isn’t what it used to be. your experience, what usually really happening when someone starts to feel disconnected from that part of themselves?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:23:06] Well, I think that first there’s an assumption again, that we’re supposed to have desire all the time and that it’s should be readily available and, and it doesn’t work that way. It’s really responsive. So if we’re stressed out, if we feel overwhelmed, um, and this could be just as a person, not even in a couple of relationship,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:23:26] although the couple of relationship plays a big part too.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:23:28] But just as a person, if you’re stressed out, you’re overwhelmed. Um. You feel disconnected to your body. Maybe something physically is going on with your body and you feel like your body’s betraying you. There’s all kinds of reasons. Well, then desire’s not gonna be there and, and I think so often people do not realize that our life circumstances. Absolutely play a part, um, if we have desire, um, to be intimate, sexual, receive, give pleasure, any of the, any of those things. So, um, and another big part is feeling safe. So if someone doesn’t feel seen safe. Either with themselves and in their own body or in a relationship, desire’s not gonna be there. So a lot of times people will come to me and say, you know, something’s wrong with me. I don’t have any desire. I could take it or leave it. You know? The first thing I wanna know is what has such been like for them because, um. Or even if it’s with themselves, you know, are you experiencing pleasure? Are you having an orgasm? Is it, you know, are you feeling seen in your sexual experience? And a lot of times they’ll tell me, no, you know, I don’t think anybody’s even asked me what I want. I don’t even know what I want. Um, that, those kind of pieces, pieces will play a part in desire and disconnect. So, um, again, curiosity, ask questions. I can’t tell you how many times couples have come to me and you know, it’s like they don’t talk about sex. They could be doing it all the time, but they haven’t had conversations about it outside the bedroom, but like what they like and you know,

Bruce Anthony: [00:25:10] You’re talking specifically about like what the. And like what they like, what they enjoy. Not, not, Hey, do you wanna do something? Hey, are you ready? Not, not those type of questions, not that type of communication, but the communication of are you enjoying this? Is there something else that you would like, is there something else that, that you would like to do?

Bruce Anthony: [00:25:31] Those are the conversations that you’re saying that a lot of these couples aren’t having.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:25:36] They’re not having those conversations, but they’re also not having conversations about what creates desire for someone.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:25:42] What’s been turned on, what, what do they need in order to feel connected, you know? Um. Those are all really important pieces. The idea of just being ready to go. It, it doesn’t really work that way.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:25:58] Um, I think that, so it’s not just what you like and don’t like and what works for you in this sort of sexual experience, but even like what creates comfort and safety and, um, feeling seen by your person that would even make you desire being sexual.

Bruce Anthony: [00:26:15] Yeah, that’s, that’s so very, very important. Uh, sticking with couples and relationships. A lot of people in relationships end up just kind of going through the motions. You hear that all the time, especially for people that have been in long-term relationships, uh, because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:26:32] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:26:32] been in this situation for so long. Let me go through the motions. How can someone tell the difference between performance, intimacy, and actually feeling connected to their partner?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:26:43] Well, performance is performance. It, they’re not, they’re not. Their bodies, they’re not experiencing their sensations. They’re, they’re not attuned to their person. They’re in the, what am I supposed to do next and

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:26:56] what is it supposed to look like? And sometimes it’s what’s the end goal and how fast can we get there? Um, so. The difference between presence is that you’re authentically connecting, you’re paying attention to what you’re experiencing. You’re paying attention to your partner as well. You’re not thinking about end goal as the, you know, um, that it’s supposed to look a certain way. It’s just much more organic, and there’s a, there’s a big difference there.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:27:25] If you’re in performance mode, you’re in your head and you’re trying to sort of. Look and behave and, and do certain things you think they’re supposed to be like, and that’s not necessarily connected to what really, what really does it for each of you. So that shows up in the relationship too. When you kind of go in with emotions, you’re not connected, you’re, you’re sort of performing a relationship but not connecting with each other, getting to know each other, um, being curious and. We’re constantly growing, right? So what someone was like when you first started dating them or first got married is not, you know, ideally people, you wanna grow, you wanna have new experiences, and so you gotta, it’s a continuous, like getting to know somebody.

Bruce Anthony: [00:28:13] Right, like that growth. we grow, right? Like just naturally the evolution of human beings. You, you’re not the same in your thirties as you were in your twenties and your forties as you were in your thirties and fifties. I’m, I’m 45 years old and I’m not even the same from when I was 42. Like there’s been a jumping a leap.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:28:36] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:28:37] there as well. I would assume that that would also apply to sexual desire, that that evolves over time

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:28:45] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:28:46] with growth as a, as a person, but also growth in a relationship. So what are some of the things that people can do? I know what You’re good, ready to say communicate, but, but h in what way?

Bruce Anthony: [00:29:01] Because h how can somebody who might not even know. That they, that the desires that they used to have are not fulfilling them anymore. How could they even recognize it if they don’t see it? And then, then find out, this is what I desire.

Bruce Anthony: [00:29:22] Like how do you get to doing that type of work?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:29:27] Well, I think it’s also helpful to look back to what, what, did work in the past

Bruce Anthony: [00:29:31] Mm-hmm.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:29:32] and as a starting point. This is something we used to do. I used to enjoy it. It seemed like you did, you enjoy it, that kind of thing. And then that opens up a more honest conversation of identifying the things that are shifting.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:29:47] And then as far as like, you know, again, just referencing what you’ve already experienced, what do you imagine, what do you think about what, um. Just being open for those conversations. I think a lot of people hold back and they’re re, you know, hesitant to share things that might help or might be of interest because they’re concerned they’re gonna be, you know, judged about it or, um, maybe they’re gonna feel embarrassed or. Of those things. So a lot of people just kind of go through the motions without taking that little bit of a check-in and being, you know, wondering is this working for you? That question is a very hard question to ask. You know, it’s,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:30:33] oh, I hope they don’t tell me, no, this isn’t working. In fact, I’m bored. You know, that’s gery.

Bruce Anthony: [00:30:40] When if, if somebody ever told me that they were bored, I would get up and walk away and they would never see me again.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:30:47] Well,

Bruce Anthony: [00:30:48] Wow.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:30:51] because it

Bruce Anthony: [00:30:51] give me performance anxiety.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:30:53] Yeah. And that’s, you know, it’s again, people get stuck in their routines and they do the same thing over and over again, and they expect it to be something that continues to work. Forever. And it

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:31:06] doesn’t, it doesn’t, you know, we’ve gotta shift our bodies, change, um, our experience change those influence how we see ourselves. You know? Um, over time people might learn new things, feel more empowered, enhance their voice of what they want, what they need, and then everything starts to shift. And you have to be able to have those conversations.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:31:30] Um.

Bruce Anthony: [00:31:31] I know. Once again, somebody told me they were bored. That’d be traumatic. But

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:31:36] Yeah,

Bruce Anthony: [00:31:36] of

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:31:37] let’s not get there. Like, don’t get to the, I’m bored because if

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:31:40] you, the, you have been out for a long time,

Bruce Anthony: [00:31:47] Oh my goodness.

​

Bruce Anthony: [00:31:56] Speaking of trauma, people hear the word trauma and often think it only applies to like extreme situations,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:32:02] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:32:04] Reading some of your information, you talk about how it can quietly show up in the way we feel closeness or experience, closeness, experience, vulnerability. How does that tend to show up in relationships?

Bruce Anthony: [00:32:16] I.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:32:18] Well, speaking of traumas, people often think trauma and they think some major crisis, um, an accident. Something in reality, though, the trauma, the, the most, uh. Impactful trauma is trauma that’s slow and consist like continuous. You know, it’s those little things that your part are not showing up for you.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:32:40] It’s your partner, not, um, you, you know. Honoring your relationship or all kinds of like these little smaller things of them, not having time for you, not asking questions. Those are all little traumas that do that, create the distance and disconnect, um, and make it very scary to be vulnerable with someone.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:33:02] So, um, the, the idea is not. Let’s look for this one big, huge argument that happened. Instead, it’s the times when people don’t show up. They don’t keep their word. They, you know, um, they make time for everybody else but you. These kind of little, little hurts that add up.

Bruce Anthony: [00:33:23] Um, I, I have married

Bruce Anthony: [00:33:26] friends, married guy friends. I’m not, I gotta be careful how I say this ‘cause I don’t want to be specific. Um, who, who have talked about their sex life with their wife and have said that they wish they could have it more often. That she’s never. In the mood, and there’s one friend in particular that said, I paid attention to the things that she was asking me to do around the house with the kids, cleaning up whatever it was, and then started doing them without her ever having to ask Sex.

Bruce Anthony: [00:34:07] Life has been great, so. With that story, one of the biggest tensions, like I said with my friends and couples out there, is that they’re faced one person who wants to be intimate and another one doesn’t. What are some healthy ways couples can navigate the difference without turning into blame, guilt, or pressure?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:34:28] Mm-hmm. Well, you described a situation that’s pretty common and that is, you know. This particular friend of yours started noticing the things that were go, had obviously been continuing to go on, the things that happened in the house and the chores and the kids and the responsibilities. Um, and then he stepped up and started doing some of those. That right there is showing that he’s paying attention and that he is, it matters to him. He’s reliable. He’s, he’s her partner and that. Is a great aphrodisiac to like wanting to

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:35:06] be sexual. It’s like your per like, you know, it’s having a conversation. It’s problem solving together. It’s all these things that seem very non-sexual that actually lead to sexual desire because we’re creating a sense of safety.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:35:20] I can, I can count on you, you are my person. That leads to being more open to the idea of, of desire and so it, it. Obviously your question was how do you prevent the sort of whose fault it is? And I mean, I think don’t have that conversation instead going, how can we show up for each other better?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:35:44] Um, and, and then there you go.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:35:47] And that starts, and then when that partner sees those efforts, that intentional effort, it means a lot.

Bruce Anthony: [00:35:53] So,

Bruce Anthony: [00:35:55] ladies and gentlemen, did you hear that? Do not have that conversation. Pay attention to what matters to them. Are, are you, are you saying without saying love languages?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:36:07] Am I Well, love languages exist. It’s a real thing. I

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:36:12] think they can change over time. I think that there is a dis, there is a definite correlation between love languages and sexual love languages. So. Knowing what your partner’s love languages are. ‘cause it’s not usually just one. It’s, you know, um, maybe the top two or three.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:36:33] And then being intentional to bring those things in, even if it’s not your love language, even if it’s not the thing you think about or feel the most loved by. That’s that intention to bring those in goes a long way. So the partner you talked about was probably acts of service, right? So they were like, Ugh, you are lightening my load.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:36:54] You’re helping me out, you know, you are noticing that I’m doing all these things and you’re, and you’re helping, you’re, you’re taking on some of it. Yeah.

Bruce Anthony: [00:37:05] I think I, you dropped something. That I’d never heard before. I’ve heard of Love languages before. I, I know ‘em. I’ve studied them. Um, but did you say sex love languages?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:37:19] Yes.

Bruce Anthony: [00:37:19] never heard of that before. Can you break that down for me and the audience? What are sex love languages?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:37:26] It’s like the love languages,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:37:28] but that carry over into your sexual experiences.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:37:33] For instance, if your love language is words of affirmation,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:37:37] you really feel seen and loved when your partner says, I’m so proud of you, or, um. You did a great job, or you’re so attractive, whatever those positive things that resonate for that person, imagine bringing those words of affirmation into your sexual experience. You are so hot. You’re so good at this. This is the best thing ever. Da da, da, da. Right? That’s your sexual love language,

Bruce Anthony: [00:38:05] So, yeah, definitely that, that would be cool, especially considering that, that your love language is, uh, words of affirmation, what not to say during sex. If your love language is, words of affirmation is, I’m bored. Don’t do that. not do that.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:38:25] direction?

Bruce Anthony: [00:38:25] Yeah, that’s a good way to end what’s going on?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:38:30] Yeah. Sex language is unnecessary because it’s not happening.

Bruce Anthony: [00:38:34] Yeah. I’ve noticeD a lot of people will complain about what they’re not getting in a relationship, but they never actually say what they need. is asking for what you want so difficult for so many people?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:38:48] I think it’s the fear that they’re not gonna get it. I mean, think about it. If you identify what you want and then you bring that to the table and that person says. Not gonna do it or doesn’t even say anything, but just doesn’t, doesn’t provide that thing that was important enough for you to bring up. That could be really a, a letdown is putting it mild, mildly. I mean, it’s, um, I think people are afraid of not getting the thing that they ask for than putting themselves out there and being vulnerable to talk about what they want, and then the fear of it not being important enough to be, um, taken care of.

Bruce Anthony: [00:39:31] So in that same frame, in that same conversation and going back boundaries. Some people out here, and I don’t mean to make it gender specific, but I’m going to, I’m gonna say men are gonna do this, okay? Men are going to ask their partner for certain things sexually that might. Be beyond the scope of the boundary of their relationship.

Bruce Anthony: [00:40:01] Some of ‘em have been in monogamous relationships for 5, 6, 7 years, and then they wanna try to be poly. Right? And, and that partner doesn’t wanna do that. So what do you say to those people who might ask unreasonable request in sexual nature? I. Do, should they still have those conversations or they should, should they reexamine what they’re about to bring to this conversation?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:40:36] Well, I think you’d need to understand why you’re even considering wanting a certain thing, whatever it is, to go into a polyamorous relationship, open up the relationship, try new sexual, you know, activities or things like that to be. Curious about what’s underneath that. I mean, if somebody wants to move into a poly relationship that has its own context of what that looks like, and so what is going on in the relationship that makes that even appealing to question that for yourself.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:41:05] I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, I’m just saying like to question why that’s something that’s of of interest. And then from that information to just decide if it’s important enough for them to bring it up in the relationship in their couple relationship. Obviously, you have to be thoughtful about what you’re bringing up so that it’s. I don’t think you should keep to yourself the things that are feel important or the things that you really are desiring. I think we need to be able to share that with our partner. It may not be available, you know, um, I think people get cautious of, well, if I say that this is something that’s of interest to me, they may misread that to mean I’m not happy in this relationship, or I’m not happy.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:41:46] You’re satisfying this sexual relationship. So I think that it needs to be presented in a way with assurance, but also. This is something that I’m thinking about and, and then having that pre-work of understanding why it’s even of interest to you, be it a position or, you know, opening the relationship to kind of a different setup

Bruce Anthony: [00:42:06] On the flip side to that, what’s some advice that you could give to a person that’s gonna receive these requests to not take things personally? To not go in that direction, will something wrong with the relationship and to actually hear and listen to what the person is asking.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:42:25] I think people are, have to be thoughtful about not going into defensive mode, which we do. Relatively easy because we’re trying to protect ourselves and,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:42:35] um, and to notice if we start to do that, but also just to be curious and, and have some compassion for the person who’s sharing something that might be really, um, uncomfortable to share.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:42:47] And there’s courage in doing that. So, you know, instead of going, what you don’t think our relationship’s good, or you’re not happy with him anymore, just to ask, why is that of interest to you? What is, you know, what made you think about that? What do you think it’s would be like? Um, you know, just start from curiosity instead of defensiveness.

Bruce Anthony: [00:43:11] The majority of the work that you do now, you said is, is dealing with women. I specifically didn’t focus solely on women because I know from a lot of conversations with men that a lot of men deal with these similar issues. That, just don’t talk about it. Uh, I know one of those issues is safety. Whether men can actually verbalize that, that’s what it is.

Bruce Anthony: [00:43:36] When they tell me, yeah, this is what’s going on with my girl things or this and that. I’m like, oh, you don’t feel safe. things aren’t right, but focusing on women specifically now for generations, women were given very specific messages about sexuality, what’s acceptable, what’s not,

Bruce Anthony: [00:43:56] and what they were supposed to prioritize.

Bruce Anthony: [00:43:59] How do these old narratives still shape the way women experience intimacy today?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:44:04] Well, those, those old messages were that women were not supposed to be sexual, you know, that desiring, enjoying, pursuing sex was, was, not okay. That, uh, and that women were supposed to be. Taking care of others, you put other people first. You put your partner first. You put their wants and needs and pleasure and, and whatever it is first, or your children first. And so over time, I think that shifting where it’s not that a woman is no longer considering their partner or their kids, or. Taking care of the people they love, but bringing a little bit more of them themselves into the equation so that women. Enjoy sex. It’s important to them. Um, you know, all of those sort of ideas of that women aren’t supposed to be sexual is just not true. And so just creating a little bit more normalcy of that, both men and women enjoy. Most people enjoy, not everybody, um, sex, and they have wants and needs. So those old messages they have held on for a long time. I.

Bruce Anthony: [00:45:19] They’re still here, unfortunately. And, and that leads to my next question. What is some advice that you can give to women out there who consciously or subconsciously, right, are still holding onto these old narratives? What’s some advice that you could give to give to them to try and break free of that?

Bruce Anthony: [00:45:37] And then what’s some advice that we can give to men to stop judging women? Who are sexually free.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:45:49] Sexually free. Um, okay, so for women. Let’s imagine somebody’s coming to see me in my office and it’s a woman, and she is talking about not having desire.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:46:00] And as I mentioned earlier, my questions would be, well, what’s it been like? You know, why is it that you’re not desiring this thing that maybe you used to do and maybe you are still doing, but you don’t really want to? That brings up those, inform that information of what they’re enjoying and also the questions of, well, what is it you want? What do you want it to look like? How do you want to be touched or, you know? And that brings up those questions that a lot of times they haven’t even asked themselves. They’re not satisfied, but they don’t know what they’re not satisfied about.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:46:31] It’s just not this, it’s not, this isn’t a good fit. So I think that it is about just. Asking yourself honest questions, being curious, not judging it right away or judging it at all. Um, and then as far as men not having a concept of, oh, a woman’s very sexually free that says something about her, um, they’re benefiting the enjoyment of that sexually free woman as she’s expressing herself and enjoying herself.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:47:03] And, um. So there’s definitely some positives in that piece. It doesn’t ha enjoying sex, wanting sex. Having a sexual vocabulary of what works for you is healthy. It’s, it’s living, it’s being human. It’s embracing our humanness and it’s stepping away from, you know, instilled conditioned mindsets that are. Not real. They’re, they come from a place of control and, um, just a different time that doesn’t exist anymore, you know, so, yeah.

Bruce Anthony: [00:47:40] this question, it was forming in my head as we’ve been speaking and I’ve been trying to figure out the proper. Way to ask this question. So we, we, we talked earlier about people carrying things from childhood and young adult life, and that could cause disconnect from desire and intimacy relationships and things of that

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:48:05] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:48:08] I know of people who severely need therapy. Okay.

Bruce Anthony: [00:48:19] Some, some E Everybody does need therapy. Everybody needs to be able to feel safe and be able to talk to somebody, everybody to a professional,

Bruce Anthony: [00:48:28] to a somebody who has actually studied how to help you, not your friend, right? People come to me all the time, I’m like, I’m not a therapist. I didn’t go to school for therapy.

Bruce Anthony: [00:48:39] Like I don’t know what to do to help you. But there are some people. Who need a need intensive therapy. I’m specifically talking to them.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:48:49] Okay.

Bruce Anthony: [00:48:51] How do people first acknowledge the fact that they need to ask themselves those questions that you, those honest questions that you were talking about and that they may not be able to give themselves an answer.

Bruce Anthony: [00:49:13] They may need to talk to a professional to help guide them to find the answer to that honest question. What is your advice to them to just take that first step?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:49:29] I think we all need to be able to ask for help, and I think that there’s something very empowering in that it’s not a weakness, right? So if you are asking yourself or you’re attempting to ask yourself, like, well, backing up a little bit, if something. In whatever category of your life does not feel good, whatever that version of not feeling good is, and whatever that topic is, that’s a space to pause and ask questions like, why does this not feel good to me? Does it not feel good in my body? Does it not feel good emotionally? And why is that? And we may not have the answers. And that’s the piece where it’s like, maybe I need some help here because this isn’t sitting well with me. And that is. We are always getting those messages, you know, and so it’s tuning into that and going, why don’t I feel good here?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:50:23] Why don’t I feel good in this relationship? Why don’t I feel good in my body? Why don’t I feel good in this, um, this activity I’m doing? Or whatever it is, you know, or a friendship even, right? It’s like I’m not, I don’t know, I’m just not feeling good here anymore. And be able to question that. We often don’t, we. Ignore it. We kick down the road, if you will, um, you know, thinking, oh, it’s just this reason, or making excuses. So I would say, you know, to be curious when things don’t feel like they’re sitting well with you, why that is. And if you don’t know the answers, ask for help. And you know, our therapist is great for that because that’s their passion.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:51:05] You know, my passion is therapy and humans and the human. You know, um, how we live, but also sex and sexuality and how that influences everything, so, you know.

Bruce Anthony: [00:51:20] There is this thing that I know is real. I know it’s real. I, I looked it up, I researched it. I said, oh, it’s real asexual people

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:51:31] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:51:36] But I’ve also, from my circles of people that I know either intimately or not intimately in groups, friends of friends, what have you, they’ve labeled themselves asexual and.

Bruce Anthony: [00:51:55] I have said, well, like, have you actually done the work to de to find out if you actually are asexual or are you just not having desire right now for various reasons? Can you explain to people the difference between somebody being asexual and somebody that’s lacking desire at a specific moment in their life?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:52:20] Well, there is a distinction and, and first of all, asexual is not as common as people utilize the term. Um, someone that is asexual does not have sexual desire. It isn’t something that is situational. It is their constant. And the other piece about that is that, so if somebody’s. Never really enjoyed sex, and then they identify themselves as asexual. That doesn’t mean that that’s actually the case. It may be that they just haven’t had enjoyable sexual experiences. Maybe they haven’t done the exploration to understand what they really like and what works for them. And also on top of that, an asexual person can still be in a sexual relationship and can still be in a romantic relationship. And I think that’s the thing that people often get confused. If you’re asexual, you’re not having sex and you’re not in relationships. That doesn’t have to be the case. Um, so the way to distinguish it is really is it’s something that is your constant,

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:53:22] perhaps it’s always been that way. You didn’t kind of really understand why other people thought sex was something of interest or what they get out of it.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:53:29] It’s those kind of, um, you know, it’s just their constant instead of like. Know, I’m I’ve, every relationship has been difficult. I’m just not gonna go there. Sex has never been enjoyable, so I just don’t like sex, so that must mean I’m asexual. That’s not necessarily the case.

Bruce Anthony: [00:53:47] Before I let you go.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:53:49] Mm-hmm.

Bruce Anthony: [00:53:51] We’ve talked so much about people finding the desire within themselves, finding the desire within the person, and it seemed like the overall theme was people need to talk if, if you wanted to give a parting salute or monologue of a, a message that people should just be hammered home with.

Bruce Anthony: [00:54:19] To walk away with this interview. I know I’m putting you on the spot.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:54:26] What’s the.

Bruce Anthony: [00:54:28] Yeah, not even the perfect statement. I, I don’t have the perfect questions. I go all around the place, but, but a statement or something that can really hammer home everything that we’ve talked about because we’ve given people so much information, they’re probably gonna have to listen to this and watch this a couple of times, uh, and take notes, ladies and gentlemen, take notes.

Bruce Anthony: [00:54:49] But what is something that people should absolutely get from this interview?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:54:56] Well, first of all, I think people latch on to that statement of that they’re broken, something’s wrong with them. And it’s, it was rarely the case. And so I would, you know, again, curious, take that term and really run with it. Be curious about yourself, about other people, about your relationships. Be open to asking questions. And the other piece is, it doesn’t have to be perfect, you know, earlier you said, oh, let me think about how I’m gonna, um, phrase this question that. I get that. Obviously you’re trying to ask questions that are gonna be really helpful and relevant and so forth, but that statement is often what people trip up on when they’re having conversations with themselves or with their partner. I need to make it perfect. I need to say it just right. I need to, you know, articulate it, articulate it in a way that’s not gonna offend all of these things. All that’s helpful, but it often keeps people from.

Bruce Anthony: [00:55:57] Uh oh. What

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:55:57] out there, talk it out, you know, so, um, I would say get over the, I’m broken, something’s wrong with me, and get curious and don’t think that everything has to be presented perfectly.

Bruce Anthony: [00:56:10] Dr. Stanley, uh, am I to understand this correctly, you have a book coming out?

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:56:16] I do, it’s called Nothing’s Off the Table,

Bruce Anthony: [00:56:19] Hmm.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:56:20] and it is really about, um. You know, everything, everything should be available to talk about and put it on the table. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just put it out there. And that includes our sexuality, includes our preferences. It also has a lot to say about debunking, a whole bunch of myths that are out there that people have been operating from. For generations. Um, and so, you know, it’s come looking at the beliefs and myths that are, we are operating from even the ones we’re not even aware of and questioning them and putting it all on the table and asking about it. So yeah. And that comes out, um, 1st of April. It’s

Bruce Anthony: [00:57:03] Ladies and gentlemen, look out for that book. All

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:57:05] gonna be good.

Bruce Anthony: [00:57:06] Yeah, I that. I’m gonna get the book and I’m gonna read it.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:57:09] Alright.

Bruce Anthony: [00:57:10] Dr. Stanley, I want to thank you so much for coming on the show. This was a extremely. Interesting conversation, extremely informative conversation, and I know, I know I learned and I know my audience learned.

Bruce Anthony: [00:57:27] So thank you so much for coming on the show and discussing this very important topic that people avoid talking

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:57:35] Mm-hmm. Yes, I do.

Bruce Anthony: [00:57:37] with, with just expertise and, and warmth. So thank you so much.

Dr. Tiffany Stanley: [00:57:44] thanks. I’m glad to be here. I appreciate your time.

Bruce Anthony: [00:57:48] It was my pleasure. You know, one of the biggest things I took away from this conversation is that connection. Real connection. Is this something that just happens because two people decide to be together? It’s something that has to be nurtured, questioned, protected, and sometimes even rebuilt. We heard today how easy it is for people to get stuck in their routines, their assumptions, and most importantly, silence and silence can exist even when two people share the same bed, the same home, the same life.

Bruce Anthony: [00:58:20] You can be physically close and still feel emotionally miles apart. It’s not failure. That’s a signal. A signal that something needs attention. For women, that might mean giving yourself permission to listen to your own needs instead of consistently prioritizing everyone else’s. For men, that might mean understanding that strength isn’t just about providing or performing.

Bruce Anthony: [00:58:44] Sometimes it’s about being present, paying attention, and creating an environment where honesty feels safe. Both men and women carry expectations that were handed to them before they ever entered a relationship,

Bruce Anthony: [00:58:57] and if we never question those expectations, we end up living out scripts that don’t actually fit who we are. Relationships evolve because people evolve. The person you are today is not the person you were five years ago, and the same is true for your partner. That means the conversations have to evolve too. Curiosity has to replace assumptions. Effort has to replace autopilot, and empathy has to replace defensiveness.

Bruce Anthony: [00:59:30] At the end of the day, intimacy isn’t just about what happens behind closed doors. It’s about how we show up for each other in everyday moments. The small acts of care, the willingness to listen, the courage to speak honestly, even when it feels uncomfortable. If there’s one thing to sit with after this episode, it’s this connection doesn’t disappear overnight.

Bruce Anthony: [00:59:52] It fades when it’s ignored, and it grows when it is intentionally nurtured. So take what you’ve heard today and reflect on it.

Bruce Anthony: [01:00:01] Reflect on your relationships, your communication, and even your relationship with yourself, because real growth starts with awareness. And real intimacy starts with understanding. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching, and until next time, as always, I’ll holler.

Bruce Anthony: [01:00:27] Woo. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don’t forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast. Wherever you’re listening or watching it to it, pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock, we’ll enjoy it also.

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